Many people tell me they are fine all day. They are busy, they get things done, and then the light goes off and everything they did not have time to think about arrives at once.
Why worries wait for bed
During the day there is always something to attend to. Lying in the dark is often the first moment with nothing else to do, so the mind uses it to go over what is unfinished. Over time, bed becomes the place where the thinking happens, and your body learns to switch on as you lie down.
Trying to push the thoughts away tends to make them come back harder. What works better is giving them a different time and place.
How a worry window works
A worry window is 15 minutes, at the same time each evening, at least two hours before bed. You sit at a table with a notebook and you worry on purpose.
Write down what is on your mind, in short lines. Work, money, family, the email you have not answered.
Next to each one, write one next step, however small: send the email, ask a colleague, look up the number. If there is nothing you can do, write that, and write when you could next look at it.
Close the notebook when the time is up. It is not meant to solve everything, only to put it somewhere other than your head.
The aim is not to stop worrying. It is to stop worrying in bed.
When a worry turns up at night anyway
It will, especially in the first week. When it does, tell yourself that it is already in the notebook, or that it can go in tomorrow's window. Some people keep a small pad by the bed to write a word or two and let it go. The point is a short handover, not a planning session at midnight.
A note on stress and burnout
A worry window helps with ordinary stress. If you are running on empty for months, losing interest in things you used to care about, or dreading every working day, the sleep problem is part of something larger. That deserves proper attention, and it is something we can look at together, alongside your doctor if needed.
Try this week
Choose a time for your window, for example 7.30pm, and put it in your calendar for seven days.
Use a paper notebook kept only for this.
Each night, notice whether the thoughts in bed are new ones or ones you have already written down.
This article is general information, not medical advice, and it doesn’t replace an assessment. If you snore loudly, stop breathing at night or fall asleep while driving, see your doctor first. In a crisis, call 112.
